Well who'd have thought we'd all be here 30 days later still wondering who was gonna be the Prez?

   My girlfriend commented the other day that aLgore reminded her of "...that annoying ex-boyfriend that won't go away no matter what you tell him..." Until you finally get a restraining order and have him carried away in handcuffs.

  According to recent polls, 60-83% of the American population agrees with her...

   In case you hadn't noticed, aLgore is a lunatic. From the ragings against the machine he espoused in his eco-manifesto " Earth In The Balance," to Whitehouse Cabinet meetings having to be rescheduled around his obsessive-compulsive need to take a shower every few hours, to his bizarre conduct during the debates, to his recent refusal to believe any vote count that does not name him the winner of the Presidential race.

   Once again, I'm compelled to quote my favorite scholars, those boys at Websters...

chad (noun) [origin unknown] First appeared 1947 : small pieces of paper or cardboard produced in punching paper tape or data cards; also : a piece of chad

-- chad*less (adjective)

   Yup, aLgore is indeed, chadless.

   In the dead of night, the ballot snatchers have come and stolen all the Democratic ballots from South Florida. It is an evil conspiracy to be sure! While the residents of Palm Beach, Miami-Dade and Nassau counties lay sleeping in their snug little beds on the eve of November 6th, the pod people came, replacing the hapless Floridians with alien beings. Beings too stupid to read, too stupid to ask for help if they didn't understand what they were reading and too feeble to push a metal pin through a pre-perforated hole.

   Now really are Floridians that stupid? Are they that feeble? I'll suggest they aren't, and did just fine alone and unsupervised in the voting both. And so what if they didn't. If you are too stupid to ask for help when you don't understand a ballot, or too proud to ask for a replacement after punching a hole next to the wrong name. Screw you. There were people that claimed they weren't even sure who they voted for. How the hell can that happen?  And how stupid are you to come forward after an election and say, "Duh, I'm not sure who I voted for?"

   In a word, MORON!

   If I punch a wrong hole in a ballot through some fit of palsy, seizure or spasm, I'm asking for a new one. No way I'm giving my vote to some fanatical whacko instead of GWB.

   Who does aLgore think he's kidding? He has no interest in counting "every" vote. His only interest is in counting "enough" votes. I can see him skulking in a basement, clad only in stained and soiled Jockeys, obsessively counting, counting, counting, for time in perpetuity. Certain that he will get enough votes, if he only can just count them, please, just one more time...

   He is a man desperate to win at any cost. He is pathetic, just like that old boyfriend that needs a restraining order, aLgore has lost all self respect, lost all dignity and most importantly, lost the respect of the American people. He cannot win now.

   Only three things can happen:

1. He is successful in his legal challenge of the election process and ends up being the most hated President since his buddy Clinton. Is  stone walled by Congress and the Government is grid locked for the next four years, until he gets booted out.
   
   or...
   

2. He  wins in court and still loses after 92 recounts of dimpled, pregnant, dangling chads.
   
   or...
   

3. The courts blow his whining ass out into the streets.

   Any way you cut it, aLgore the sore loser becomes the biggest fool of the new millenia. What he should have done was taken a lesson from Nixon's conduct in the 1960 election. Conceded gracefully, then come back in a few years and tried again. Too late now, this short sighted megalomaniac has alienated 3/4 of the population. A  damn tragedy... NOT!

  There is a moral to this story, perhaps several. We've learned that being arrogant and selfish in our goals isn't only self destructive, but can have far reaching ramifications. That our political system has reached a bloated, critical mass. And it really is time for a change. Most of all we've learned that our one little tiny vote really does count, that our voices can be heard.

   If only we take the time to... Speak Out!

Mr.Dune

The views and/or opinions expressed herein are not always the opinions of Off-Road.com or it's parent company Advanstar Communications, Inc.
(Although frequently, they are...)

E-mail Mr Dune at:  mrdune@off-road.com   for instructions on finding a life.

Please be sure to check out Off-Road.com's Land Use Section,
Written and produced by Brad Ulrich. And jam packed with information
on the latest shaft jobs our government and the Eco-Nazis are trying to pull on us!

Previous Columns

(Special Edition) Glamis Closure

Nov. 2000 Gore Politics
Oct. 2000 Back To The Dez!
Sep. 2000 Traveling In Comfort
Aug. 2000 Isn't It Nice "Special People" Have A Place To Work
Jul. 2000 A Rosie By Any Other Name... Would Still Smell Like Crap
Jun. 2000 Ruling On The River..."Memorial Day Is More Than Just A Good Time"
May 2000 "It's a Jeep Thing... Who Would Want to Understand?"
Apr. 2000 "No Tunes In The Dunes?"
Mar. 2000 "Political Correctness vs. Off-Road.com"
Feb. 2000 "Crime And Punishment"
Jan. 2000 "Requiem For A Friend"
Dec.1999 "Santa Dune"
Nov. 1999 "Every Turkey Has It's Day"
Oct. 1999 "Disinformatzia"
Sep. 1999 "Return of the Living Dead"
April 1998 "Green Stickers and Sacramento Slickers"
March 1998 "Fees At Glamis"
Feb. 1998 "Greens At Glamis"
Jan. 1998 "New Years Resolutions"
Dec.1997 "The BLM" (Bureau of Lame Mismanagement)
Nov. 1997 "Chicks In The Desert"

Mr Dune's Table of Contents