You know Memorial Day weekend is a
big event all over this "Grand Ol' U.S. of A." But I doubt
it's any bigger anywhere than right here in the cultural and
motorized center of the universe, The Desert Southwest... Yup, that "Bermuda Triangle" of
mechanized madness where a lost Eco-Nazi's compass can spin wildly,
it's needle sucked away from the North Pole by the massive kinetic
magnetism of a hundred zillion off road vehicles, RVs, boats, race
cars, street bikes, hot rods and unusual metallic marital aides
purchased from strange little shops in West Hollywood...
From here at my home in the capital of
sin, Las Vegas, To the capital of conspicuous consumption, Los
Angeles. To the capital of sweating your ass off, Phoenix. There
are more exotic toys, per person here than anywhere else in the
world...
And out here in the "Triangle" where we
only have two seasons, hot and really hot. Memorial Day weekend
marks a paradigm shift in activities...
Goodbye desert toys! Hello water
toys!
Now for weeks we've been wrenching and
polishing and tuning up our boats and Jet Skis. Mom's been blowing
the sand out of the motorhome and cussing at us for tromping around
inside "her" gazillion dollar coach with our riding boots. Spilling
beer and Jack Daniels and generally tearing the place to shreds all
winter with our "boy trips" to Glamis and God knows what other
dusty, vile places...
As we quietly shed that ever so small
tear of grief, we roll our trusty and venerable
Yamahondasuzukawa into the garage for the last time until
Halloween, and then get on to the matters at hand...
The Colorado River!
Now if
you're married, the boys trips are history until next dez season.
You see Mom knows that from the Mexican Border at Yuma, AZ, to the
Davis Dam at Bullhead City and Laughlin. The hot spots on the
Colorado River make ancient Rome look like a toga party at a day
care center. There is no way you married boys will be allowed to
come and play with the likes of old Mr Dune or anyone even
resembling him.
You're going to the River on a
leash.
Or worse Mom's gonna make you drive all
the way up to Utah and get a houseboat on Lake Powell,. Where
you can have quality time falling asleep at 8:00pm to the sound of
crickets chirping...
Now that REALLY blows.
For those of you poor sots that will
never see the Colorado River go off... Let's just say this is
a family publication, so I can't go into details. It will have to
suffice to say that every beautiful woman from So Cal, Arizona, and
Las Vegas will be there, be naked, be of questionable blood
alcohol level, and be looking for a boat ride.
Now you see why Mom has
Dad on that leash? And you thought it was a "Jeep
Thing."
Well I was there working, damn what a
shame. I gotta say my job really bites. I'm so sick of barbecue
food and running up and down the River on my boat, taxiing topless
dancers to photo shoots, I could spit (Keep your eyes peeled for my
next project to debut in the early spring of 2001,
WaterWeb). To be honest, the weekend was insane and I really
don't remember much after that fourth Tremor at Kokomo's Friday
night.
Hell, I'm starting to sound like a Jimmy
Buffet tune. It's funny though, I do vaguely remember a tattoo of a
parrot and the sound of steel drums echoing through the
night...
And so now as I relax in the shade of my
back porch, kicked back in the hammock. Just slap worn out from a
weekend of partying on the Sandbar at Lake Havasu. I'm recovering
from one of the wildest river trips ever. The cold beer, the cool
blue water, the young naked hotties frolicking licentiously in the
sweltering Arizona sun...
Memories....
Which brings me to close on a serious
note. What Memorial Day is really all about.
Remembering...
Remembering our fallen heroes. The
patriots who sacrificed life and limb for our freedom. The millions
of American men and women that have served our country selflessly.
That have lost their homes, their children, their loved ones, their
husbands and wives. It's because of them that we have the glorious
freedom to express ourselves. That we enjoy the highest standard of
living in the world. And that we can go to places we love and carry
on like lunatics. That we can sleep safely in our beds without fear
of jack booted thugs dragging us of into the cold, dark night.
Memorial Day is to honor the brave young
men who's blood made the Delaware River run red at Trenton in 1778,
the brothers who wore uniforms of opposing armies, that lay just
feet from each other, face down and lifeless in the mud at Shiloh
and Appomattox. The courage of American boys, too young to even
shave or vote who died in the trenches of the Ardennes, in not just
one, but two Great Wars. It's to honor the bravery of our fathers
and sons that were torn to bits by incoming mortar fire at Da Nang
and Phnom Penh.
Memorial Day is to honor the
missing, the captured, the tortured and the maimed that have given
everything, so that you and I could enjoy the freedom we are
blessed with.
So next year on Memorial day, when
you're caught up in your own little world, frantically running
errands to get to the river or to the lake or beach. Take a few
minutes, and think how truly lucky we are to be Americans. How
proud we are to be the sons and daughters of these fine men
and women. Thank them...
And look deep into your heart, find the
courage to know that when your time comes to be called to duty, You
will honor their memory. And give your life protect your children
from tyranny...
It could never be enough, but to all the Vet's out
there...
You are not forgotten.
Thank you,
Mr.Dune
A note from the Editor…
This is my forum, not yours! If you don't like my views or
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a life.
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