Pardon me as I pull my
tattered old soapbox over to center stage, climb up on it and clear
my throat in preparation for a rant...
On second thought; I don't want to be
pardoned, I just want to smack some of you!
You know who you are... Yea, I'm talking
to you, the punks skulking back there in the shadows, the ones with
the unsightly overload of facial piercings and Attention Deficit
Disorder. And to you parents, too spineless to kick your delinquent
offspring's asses when they needed it.
Well I'm here to kick your ass...
Before I start, let me preface this by
saying I'm the first to champion anyone's right to be an asshole.
In fact I'm proud to be one, a big one. Yes, I blast ZZ Top on my
stereo at full volume until 3am, I get smashed and run amok., I
howl at the moon. This is the desert, if you can't run with the big
dogs, I suggest you spend your vacation time at Club Med. Bite
me.
But enough is enough. There is a big
difference between drunken revelry and criminal conduct.
The actions of a few bad apples has
brought the attention of the national media as well as law
enforcement upon our glorious and heretofore unspoiled little
corner of the universe. It seems the troublemakers have discovered
Glamis, and I for one won't tolerate it.
Recent reports of invasion style
robberies, assaults, theft and vandalism are inviting the long arm
of the law to reach into our cookie jar. This is not a good thing
my friends. Not good for our safety nor good for our sport.
Since the boom of the 50's Glamis and
other OHV areas have functioned without this B.S. What has happened
to change this in the past few years? Weak, spineless parents, too
self indulgent and self absorbed to properly whip their demonic
little punks asses before they set them loose on an unsuspecting
public. And a public too apathetic to raise a hand to protect
itself.
Now I'm not suggesting we become
vigilantes. But I am suggesting we have the power to nip this in
the bud. Why didn't this happen before?
Fear.
Yup, one simple word. FEAR. Punks used
to know if they pulled this crap they would be beaten senseless by
the "Good Guys™". Yup, the ones with the white hats and
gleaming smiles. When I was a kid, I knew better. I knew if I got
caught stealing something, my Dad, or my victim, or the cops,
or all three in rapid and deliberate succession would pummel me to
a bloody pulp.
Now punks get hugs...
Wrong. I don't hug punks. In fact if one
comes near me I'll kick him just on principle. And if their parents
take exception to my treatment of their "little darlings" I'll
offer to kick them too.
Fear must be brought back to the black
little hearts of these young budding sociopaths. Hugs don't work.
Jail, with cable TV and vocational training doesn't work.
What does work? To quote Officer Bob Speed, the time honored police tactic of
"beat and release."
First of all we need to work with the
BLM. Right now they are a little confused and misdirected. They are
on the verge of beginning a draconian enforcement policy to try to
limit potential problems. This is not the cure, in fact it will
only worsen the problems.
The BLM's attentions should not be
directed towards the basically honest citizens that are having a
bit "too much" fun. We come to Glamis to escape the rules that bind
most mere mortals during their daily lives. For the BLM to look for
infractions to enforce will only tie up their valuable time, where
they could be busting the "real" bad guys. As well as serve to
alienate the public they are attempting to protect.
We as a group must also band together...
The BLM or the cops can't be everywhere, all the time. Nor do any
of us want them to be. Along with personal freedom, comes personal
responsibility. If you see a crime being committed it is our
responsibility to intervene, as a member of the community we belong
to.
In cities throughout the nation, people
are taking their streets and neighborhoods back from the thugs that
have attempted to oppress them. We will do the same. I'm old, I'm
tough and I'm mean. A ton of nastier shit than a handful of 20 year
old little boys has tried to kill me and I'm still here, meaner
than ever. And I'll be damned if I'll let anyone come into my
playground and be a bully.
Do your part... Kick a punk today.
I will now put my soapbox away and
retire to the comfort of my luxurious RV for a cocktail and a
snooze. But first a word of wisdom to you punks out there...
I sleep lightly and my Dingo never
sleeps... Try to rob my camp and you'll see the business end of my
9mm, belching flame and hot lead. If you're lucky you'll be dead
before I feed you to my dog.
I'll be watching,
Mr.Dune
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