How can I
mock thee? Let me count the ways!
It's been a little over a year
since I started writing "It's Not Easy Being Green", and in that time,
both myself and Off Road.com have been on the receiving end of a considerable
share of hate mail from the ....ahem... "Environmental" community. Not
that it comes as much of a suprise. After all, when you put out honest,
credible, and brutally accurate information about socialists, terrorists, and
the factually unstable, they tend to get a bit miffed. Well, OK, they tend to go
ballistic and make complete and utter fools of themselves.
First CLEAR declares us as one of
the top 3 (and I quote) "ANTI environmental" websites on the net.
Then Earth First's pro-bono law
lizard Dave Wheeler declares me an "FBI Agent Provocateur" (no, I'm
not making this up) across the frontiers of usenet.
Collectively, the staff at ORC
have been labeled "Environment haters" by Friends of the Earth"
Rickii Rockett, drummer for the
glam rock band "Poison", and outspoken animal rights / No Compromise
activist has threatened to use the band's upcoming tour as a platform to further
the animal rights cause, and campaign against Off-Road.com.
What an audience consisting
mostly of 80's type headbangers dressed in black leather will think of paying
$30+ for a concert condemning their choice of dress remains to be seen.
.......could be a real short tour.
And let's not forget those gallant souls "Friends of
Envirolink who threatened to sue us, launch letter writing campaigns (killing
off many trees in the process) and a wealth of other equally futile acts of
desperation against us. Who are these self righteous crusaders of justice?
I'd like to take a few moments to return a little of that
above mentioned hate mail, have a little fun at these "people's"
expense and result to good old juvenile mockery. Now I know someone out there is
gonna stand up and say "We gotta be better than them", and in truth we
are, but lets face facts. There's nothing listed below that we all haven't
thought ourselves at one time or another. The only difference is that I'm
putting it on virtual paper.
Apparently made a poor business decision
Action failed
Vivisect this!
Be still my fear struck heart, militant vegetarians oppose
us!!
Then get the animal out of the Bloomin' fence!
God knows the place is full of em'
No, I can't, this is just too damn funny.....
Beware, for they shalt pummel you with acronyms!
Can't spell but hey, trust'em anyway.....
Animals ARE a Resource!
Yup, we watch'em here in the states too...from our Of-Road
Vehicles!!!!!
OH MY!!!
An animal has the right to sit still on my plate. No more,
no less.
Ethical treatment does not mean placing the value of an
animal above that of a human.
Bend human population over, insert proctoscope, tell them
it's their fault, repeat.
Still refuses to stand in for the primates in question.
Suddenly I just got all warm and fuzzy inside.....
How about "NHOSD" Nutrition and Health Over
Starvation and Death
I'd worry about the people over there killing each other
first.
Put them back.
Biased literature for a captive audience?
Want one? Then let us manage the forests!
Forfeiting All Rights of Man (FARM)
Not far enough, keep going till you hit water. Then swim.
For Humans! Next......
I like my cat a lot, can I join too?
Why is it that "Futurian" type people want us to
revert to the living conditions of...oh...say 60,000,000 BC?
They hate us, they REALLY hate us! And it makes us proud.
Must feel like monkeys after Envirolink was quoted as
having "no real position on environmental issues".
No thanks, I prefer steak. Just bring the cow. I'll eat
what I want, and ride the rest home.
Communist parties of North America? Not much difference.
I wonder why....
In Defense of Humans!
Yummmmmm.......mmmMEAT!!!! Bloody red MEAT!! Meat, the
wonder food! It comes from cows and other such animals! It doesn't need
fertilizer that can poison the ecosystem, it's naturally grown,
it's.........MEAT! Meat is Neat! Got Meat?
SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!! Off-Road.com, in conjunction with
the American Cattleman's Association present a weekend filled with spills,
chills and MEAT!!!! See T-Bone go up against ground chuck in a head to head
grudge match! Thrill to the wonders of Pork, the other white meat! And be sure
not to miss the Top Round Winternationals sponsored by Vons, Alphea Beta, and
the IGA. Tickets available at all Ticketron outlets and Green piece
everywhere!!!!!!
No primates were harmed in the production of this column.
Get over it.
We promise not to harm any tigers while off-roading. Now
go away.
For some people, the ALF just isn't radical enough.
....Right until they need "Modern" medical care.
Suddenly EVERYTHING looks different....
See above plate reference.
See above plate reference.
Got one left, vivisect it too.
Inc. As in PROFIT?????
No intelligence either. Come NC, join our reindeer games!
Get a job and you'll better occupy your time. The 60's are
over.
Just got Homesite? (it's free)
Is anyone in Victoria BC gainfully employed? Just
curious....
The name says it all.
REVOLUTION BROTHERS & SISTERS!!! Wait....who's
opressin' us this week?
No contract huh? Spend more time playing, less protesting,
and soon young jedi, the power of the force will be yours!
This is precious. Do they all sit around a little table
growling and squeaking for world peace? I'll bet the Lion wins...and he's a
CARNIVOR!!! BWAAAAAAHAHAHA!!!
My poultry concerns are fully addressed by KFC thanks.
First get statehood, then worry about it.
I guess takeout steak from the lower 48's kind'a far huh?
With all this "Inc" flowing here, it can't be
good for the environment ;-)
...and there are approximately 16.7 million other colors
to choose from too.
And your malnourished point is.........?
Yup, get minors involved in a criminal activity. Real
intelligent.
Hugging a bunny upsets it's natural life cycle, causes it
stress, and will ultimately lead to the extinction of the species. I'm tellin
the ALF on you!!!.
Citizens for Human Rights - everywhere else.
Working hard to freeze an Eskimo to death apparently.
Newsflash people, your buddies just liberated a few
thousand of their cousins in England. Got most of them killed in the process,
and wreaked havok on the local ecosystem. Smooth move......not.
See above cat reference
Arizona Nudist Coalition is united bare!
What action in particular?
Here's a group with more time on their hands than I have.
See above
OK, you got an animal and you're allied with it.....now
what?
Did the LA gangs migrate south?
So eat a plant and quit whining!
Yet despite all their misguided enthusiasm, I do have to
stand up and salute these groups for having enough huevos to get active and put
their names, time and effort behind a cause they believe in. It's my hope that
one day all of us will have the conviction to do the same.
