"If I Were President"
Ladies & Gentlemen, 4 score and several years ago, our founding
fathers set forth to provide "FUTURE GENERATIONS" with country
based on 3 principles. Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.
As a result, America became the most prosperous nation in the
history of the world. Over the years, people across the planet came
to our shores, fleeing oppression, whether political, religious, or
otherwise, and built a new life. That was then.......This is now. As a result of special interest groups,
Eco-religious zealotry, and an
unwillingness of the general population to stand up for the rights
vested
upon us by our founding fathers, America has lost something.
Something important. America and her people have lost the will,
and the right of self
determination. We pander endlessly to those spouting the "correct"
ideal of the day, never stopping to ponder the cumulative
ramifications of such action. Less than 25 years after the
doomsayers foretold ecological
holocaust, we have abandoned our rights, our property, and our very
freedom to appease those with a tall tale, a pulpit to speak it
from, and the cubic dollars to project it's influence across the
country. I cannot offer you a chicken in every pot,
for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, who now claim to
speak for the chickens, must first ascertain whether or not human
ownership of said fowl is "Spiciest", and constitutes slavery, and
feathered bondage. I cannot offer you a car in every garage, for
even now, my opponent, Al Gore seeks to eliminate the internal
combustion engine, while members of the Earth Liberation Front are
currently embarked in a campaign to recycle wood into carbon
emissions by burning down newly constructed buildings. Millions of
dollars worth at a time! I cannot offer you the freedom to navigate
great rivers, drive down earthen roads, or even view the amber
waves of grain.....unless of course you apply 5 months ahead of
time for the proper permit; for the Creator givith, and the Bureau
of Land Management hath taken away. Good people, I cannot even offer you the
freedom to bear a large family, as the Sierra Club has currently
undertaken a program to eradicate any increase in global
population! My Fellow Americans, I cannot offer you any
of these things, because in fact, they are not mine to offer. It is
YOU who must regain your self worth, self determination, and self
reliance. Take a stand against your environmental oppressors! Unite
in the common goal of taking back the country that we have so
foolishly abandoned! If you won't do it for yourselves, do it
.....for the children. As your next President, I vow to quit
vowing. What I intend to do is kick this country squarely in it's
collective hindquarters, work to return America to Americans, and
use this countries elephantine budget to purchase one way
tickets for every doomsayer, Eco-religious fanatic, and
environmental terrorist to any country willing to put up with them.
No more will Americans be subject to the "laws" put forth by NGOs.
No more will science fantasy be the basis for ecological policy.
Ladies and gentlemen, I ask for your vote in the year
2000. "If you vote for Norm, the globe won't
warm" Thank you, and good night. Hey, it could happen ;-) "It's Not Easy Being Green" - Article
Index
Links to so called "Environmental
Organizations" The Sierra Club Homepage
- http://www.sierraclub.org
The Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance - http://www.suwa.org/
Earth First! Homepage - http://www.hrc.wmin.ac.uk/campaigns/ef/pubs/aulat.html | 
